


dancing through our house (with the ghost of you)

by goldenwinter



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Slow Dancing, Yeonjun is Reminiscing here, hundreds of sun and moon references, im pretty much convinced that yeonbin are soulmates, inspired by ghost of you of 5sos, please protect soobin, soobin just wants to experience slow dancing with yeonjun, yeonbin are annoyingly in love with each other here, yeonbin are happy i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28006311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwinter/pseuds/goldenwinter
Summary: "You know, one of my dreams was to slow dance with a boy on the rooftop while the moon is shining brightly.""Then, why haven't you done it yet?""I don't know. Maybe because I wanted it to be you."Or the five times Soobin slow danced with Yeonjun, the fourth one being the most memorable one.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	1. Slow Dance On The Rooftop

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is inspired by ghost of you by 5sos!
> 
> english isn't my first language so, sorry for the mistakes ^^
> 
> it's my first time trying to write, please bare with this fic
> 
> and thanks to the sun-moon lovers gc who helped me write this fic!! ilysm mwah
> 
> not beta read by the author

[i see the light](https://open.spotify.com/track/6klpXs2uAjagnZMFkt4qkl?si=hrGprrIlRZGoMrWb4uOCDQ)

Soobin loves ~~Yeonjun~~ the moon.

The way he would look at it, his eyes are twinkling as bright as the moon itself.

His eyes can hold the entire galaxy, whether he's looking at the moon or Yeonjun, it's glowing.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why he holds Yeonjun so dearly, because he found comfort in him, just like how the sun comforts the moon.

Yeonjun is the Sun and Soobin is the Moon.

Two contradicting things that shine the most when they're not together but Yeonjun and Soobin, they are a different case.

Yeonjun is holding soobin's journal or diary, _whatever you call it_ as he always says and his favorite gray colored jacket that he gave to Soobin for no reasons at all. It's not that he's prying on soobin's privacy, he just saw it earlier accidentally on his cabinet when he was cleaning their bedroom. The jacket smelled like it hasn't been worn for ages and kept hidden. Yeonjun is holding the journal very softly as if it's going to break any moment. He's holding it just like how he holds Soobin in his arms. He opens it and the first thing he sees is _Don't read this or I will haunt you in your dreams!!!_ From the looks of it, there's a lot of pages left and that Soobin didn't really write a lot of things inside. Yeonjun continues to the second page. There was a sentence written on it.

_Four times Yeonjun made me feel like I'm living on a fairytale ><_

He smiled fondly. It definitely brought back the memories. Happy ones and sad ones. Four not-so-special places where they both made Soobin's dream come true. Yeonjun continues to the third page.

_1.) The rooftop of our home_

_I'm Yeonjun's moon, forever_

_It was my first time slow dancing with him!!_

_I definitely had fun!_

_It was a magical night.  
_

_He also played my favorite disney song!_

_And, a shooting star passed by!_

_I wished for his happiness ><_

_I realized, I wanted to dance with him again_

Yeonjun recalls that night.

* * *

It was already ten in the evening when they got back. It was a long day for both of them. They just got back home after visiting Soobin's parents. Turning on the lights, going to their bedroom, and getting changed in their matching hoodies.

Both went straight towards the roof terrace of their house after. It was chilly since it was in the middle of September. They sat on the chairs at the corner of the room, talking to each other about random things. A shooting star then passed by in the sky. Seeing a shooting star was rare. The sky was really breathtaking, it was as if all the stars were out that day.

The two of them quickly closed their eyes and put their hands together, both wished for each other without knowing. "I wish for his happiness. I wish for his health. I wish for him and him only."

"Reminds me, do you have any wishes or dreams that came true?" Soobin asked as he looked at his eyes. 

"To be with you." The words came out softly and tenderly. It was full of love.

"Shut up?!" Soobin was clearly flustered by Yeonjun's words. He always do this.

"Well, to live happily with my partner." Yeonjun said while looking at Soobin. His eyes screamed "I want grow old with you. I want to live my whole life spending it beside you."

"That's it?" He questioned puzzledly.

"What do you mean that's it?"

"Don't you have any other dreams?" He didn't intend to sound rude, he was just puzzled.

"I can't really think of anything. How about you?" Yeonjun laughed stupidly.

"I have a lot. Like A LOT." Soobin emphasizes. "But there's this one that I would really really like to happen."

"Yeah? Tell me." He was interested. He was interested because it's Soobin. He's willing to listen to him everytime.

"You know, one of my dreams was to slow dance with a boy on the rooftop while the moon is shining brightly."

"Then, why haven't you done it yet?" Yeonjun asked confusingly while looking at Soobin. "Like before when we were in high school or college? I mean when we had a prom."

"I don't know. Maybe because I wanted it to be you." Soobin then looked back at Yeonjun. "To dance with you."

Yeonjun got up from his seat and went to play a song, Soobin knows very well, in his phone. He went towards him and offered his hand. Soobin was looking at him with teary eyes. He rarely cries, he only does when he's too happy or touched. The reason may be the former, the latter or maybe both.

"May I, Binnie?"

It felt as if Yeonjun was asking; Asking for permission if he can stay by his side, for a lifetime.

"Yes, Junnie."

Soobin accepted it wholeheartedly, clasping his hand with him, giving Yeonjun the permission to stay with him for as long as he lives.

_All those days watching from the windows_   
_All those years outside looking in_   
_All that time never even knowing_   
_Just how blind I've been_

They danced on the middle of the roof terrace. The only source of light they're getting was from the little lamp on the corner. It wasn't dark neither it was bright, it was rather dim.

_Now I'm here blinking in the starlight_   
_Now I'm here suddenly I see_   
_Standing here it's all so clear_   
_I'm where I'm meant to be_

Soobin's left hand's clasped with Yeonjun's right one, his other hand's placed on Yeonjun's waist, holding him so tenderly.

The moon was shining ever so brightly, it was one of the few days were the full moon is out. Soobin was lucky.

_And at last I see the light_   
_And it's like the fog has lifted_   
_And at last I see the light_   
_And it's like the sky is new_

Their bodies were swaying left and right, no one was talking. They _were_ feeling this moment, this moment where it's just the two of them. Nothing can go on their way.

Such as the oxymoron 'Alone Together' , two different words that sound perfect when combined. Just like them, Yeonjun and Soobin. They are perfect and complete when they're together.

_And it's warm and real and bright_   
_And the world has somehow shifted_   
_All at once everything looks different_   
_Now that I see you_

He was looking at Yeonjun with a small smile on his lips, whispering a small _thank you_. He reciprocated the stare, just like how he did with Soobin's love for him. Their eyes were sparkling.

Soobin leaned in and closed the gap between them. It was sweet and full of love. They were both happy.

He hugged the other boy after. Sliding left and right, the scenery was rather magical and romantic. 

"I've had this thought for a while but it kinda sounds cliché." Soobin started, laughing slightly at the thought.

"Don't say that! Every idea of yours will always be significant and lovely." Yeonjun said while winking (note: he tried).

"I wanna you know.... want us to have our own way of saying 'I love you' since it's very common to everyone..." Soobin said shyly, not looking at the boy in front of him anymore. Yeonjun laughed, he was clearly endeared by the other boy.

"Fuck, you're so adorable!!!" Yeonjun screamed letting go of soobin's hand to pinch his cheeks. "I love that idea by the way."

"But the problem is I don't really know what exactly to... you know..." They're not dancing anymore, they're just holding each other's hand while the song was still playing.

"Since you love the moon a lot, why not _'You're my moon'_?"

"Eh? I love the moon reference but think about another one." Soobin rejected. 

"Forever, you'll be my moon."

"Can you repeat it again?" He smiled, he loved the thought of it.

"Forever, you'll be my moon, binnie."

"Then..." Soobin cups Yeonjun's face. "Forever, you'll be my sun, junnie." He leaned in to kiss Yeonjun's nose.

"Let's do this again, slow dancing I mean." said Soobin.

"Of course, binnie. We have a lot of time, we can slow dance whenever we wake up in the morning or while I'm cooking our breakfast, you know." Yeonjun replied while laughing cheekily. Soobin slaps his shoulder. 

"I'm tired and sleepy."

Yeonjun tiptoed and kissed Soobin on the forehead, ruffling his hair afterwards.

"Let's get to bed then, binnie."

* * *

Yeonjun ~~was~~ is fine.

It's not that he still hasn't moved on, he tried. For the last 2 years, he tried his best to move on, it's just that until now he can't seem to let go of him **yet.**

He closed the journal, not ready to know and see what holds the remaining pages.


	2. Reminiscing Is Our Thing

[beautiful in white](https://open.spotify.com/track/43wROOsAEK0F3Fu46Vjn7W?si=y6I2-h_PSK6CBCajI-DDwA)

Soobin loves ~~Yeonjun~~ the moon.

He will never get tired of loving it.

The way he loves it unconditionally, whether it's Yeonjun or the moon, it's his home.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why he holds Yeonjun so dearly, because he found happiness in him, just like how the moon finds happiness on the sun.

Yeonjun is the Sun and Soobin is the Moon.

Two contradicting things who love each other so much, no matter what happens, no matter what circumstances, and no matter where they are.

_2.) The rooftop of the café he rented_

_He told me he'll marry me a hundred million times_

_It was our third anniversary that day, September 18!!_

_I think it was one of the most memorable day of my life_

_It felt like a fairy tail_

_He played our wedding song_

_The sun was setting at that time_

_The scenery was very very ethereal_

_I realized, I wanted to dance with him again and again and again_

_If I spent my adolescence beside him, then I want to spend my entire adulthood with him too_

* * *

It was eighteenth of September, it was their anniversary that day.

They were eating at the rooftop of a café, Soobin's favorite one. Yeonjun rented the whole rooftop just for their anniversary.

Soobin really didn't know about this (though he had a hunch). Yeonjun just told him to get changed and they're going somewhere special while smiling knowingly.

He was really happy. He scanned the place and _wow_ was all he said. The rooftop's decoration was pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, and every other adjectives that can be used to describe the scenery. 

There were fairy lights, sunflowers (fake ones), yellow and blue fabrics; You can also see the view of the city and sunset. Simple yet elegant.

"When did you even plan this?" Soobin asked, starting a conversation. "Just curious."

"Last week, when you went to our friends' dorm. I called the owners of this café. Good thing, they agreed to let us have this rooftop for a day." Yeonjun giggled when he recalled talking to the couple.

"Of course they would! We always go to this café, almost everyday even."

"This place has been our to-go dating place since we were college, you know?" Broke college couple who were barely surviving the uni student life, would always go to this café for their dates.

"This place is very memorable."

They were in the middle of their conversation when a song suddenly played on the background. Soobin looked at Yeonjun.

"Hey, isn't this our wedding song?" Yeonjun nodded, smiling fondly at the boy in front of him. 

Soobin got up from his seat, went to Yeonjun's side and extended his hand. "May I?"

Yeonjun accepted his hand. "Of course, who am I to reject?" Soobin laughed.

"Are you reliving our dance in the wedding reception?" Yeonjun asked.

"Do you want us to?"

_One. Two. Three._

_They opened the doors._

_Yeonjun saw Soobin from the other side of the church. Standing with his parents beside him, wearing a white suit._

_Oh. He made the right choice, choosing the white suit and choosing to grow old with Soobin._

_They were both smiling at each other._

_Not sure if you know this  
But when we first met  
I got so nervous I couldn't speak_

_"Hi! I'm Choi Soobin, a transferee here!"_

_"Oh. You're pretty."_

_"Huh?"_

_"I mean, Welcome. Welcome to our university!" Yeonjun said nervously. "I'm Yeonjun by the way, Choi Yeonjun."_

_"That's a pretty name." Soobin complimented him. "It suits you. A pretty person with a pretty name."_

_"I..."_

_"Oh, right. Can you, maybe, tour me around here? I might get lost."_

_In that very moment  
I found the one and  
My life had found its missing piece_

_Soobin was getting closer and closer to Yeonjun._

_Both thought that they were lucky to have each other._

_Few steps before Yeonjun holds Soobin's hands._

_So as long as I live I love you  
Will have and hold you_

_"Hey, binnie. Not be_ _cheesy but I can see my future with you." Yeonjun said while sitting on his bed, talking to Soobin on the phone._

_"I can see myself growing old with you beside me, too."_

_"Do you promise?" Yeonjun paused._

_"Promise to what?"_

_"Promise to grow old with me?"_

_"I do promise, Junnie. We'll grow old together with 10 corgis, if that's what you want."_

_You look so beautiful in white  
And from now 'til my very last breath  
This day I'll cherish  
_

_Soobin is in front of Yeonjun, his parents letting go of his hands to give them to Yeonjun._

_They walked in the aisle, side by side. Holding each others' hand softly._

_"You look beautiful today." Yeonjun whispered._

_"Today only?"_

_"You look EXTRA beautiful today."_

_"You look ethereal today too."_

_You look so beautiful in white  
Tonight_

_Minutes passed by and it's time to give their vows._

_"When you first transferred in our school, I thought you were beautiful. You were too beautiful that I got tongue tied. And we continued hanging out as days passed by. On our junior year, I remember going to the prom without you and I regretted it. I thought I wanted to be with you rather than be with hundreds of people, so I ended up ditching the prom. I went to your house that night and I confessed my feelings for you. I realized that night Binnie, that I wanted to grow old with you." Yeonjun smiled at him fondly. They loved each other so much. "And you know what I feel even if I don't say something that long, right? I love you, and I will continue to do so until the universe vanishes; And that's my vow."_

_The universe won't even vanish, just like Yeonjun's love for Soobin. He will always have a place in his heart._

_"I confessed to you too at that night and it felt relieving to get that out from my chest. And then we started talking every night through phone calls, I thought I wanted more. I told you , one night, that I want to grow old beside you and I think that was the best idea." He started tearing up, he was the happiest man alive at that moment. "Junnie, you know what I feel even if I don't say something that long, right? I will love you for every life I'll live. I will love you, I am loving you, and I have loved you, Junnie; And that's my vow."_

_They are happy, happily in love._

_"Throughout this ceremony, GROOM and GROOM have vowed, in our presence, to be loyal and loving towards each other._ _They have formalized the existence of the bond between them with words spoken and with the giving and receiving of rings._ _Therefore, it is my pleasure to now pronounce them husband and husband._ _You may now kiss your groom!" The priest happily proclaimed._

_They leaned in and closed the gap between them. People cheered loudly. They were happy for them too._

_All the invited people and the newly-wed couple are now on the reception._

_The grooms are now dancing on the middle of the venue, with the same song earlier._

_"God, binnie. I love you so much."_

_"I love you too, so much."_

_"Do you remember what you said back then, when we were in college?" He recalled that night they called each other, planning for their future._

_"Which one?"_

_"You said we'll grow old together with 10 corgis."_

_"Oh, that." Soobin laughed._

_"I would like that. To grow old with you, with 10 corgis."_

_"We'll buy 10 corgis after we get a big house." They saw their mornings in each other._

_"Sure binnie, sure."_

_"You know Junnie, I think this song is composed for you."_

_"Why?"_

_"You look so beautiful in white." Soobin laughed at his own joke._

_"If this song is composed for me, then are you the composer?"_

_"I'll be the composer, producer, lyricist, and everything. I can write a thousand of songs for you, just for you."_

_"You're so cheesy."  
_

_"I'm telling the truth though." Soobin winked at him._

_Silenced enveloped them until Yeonjun started talking._

_"Binnie, you've always told me that you love the moon,"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I think, you **are** the moon."_

_"Hm? Why?"_

_"You are unreachable, You're always shining brightly, You are beautiful, and You are you."_

_"Thus, how come you've reached me?"_

_"Because I'm meant for you. I'm meant to reach you, to reach the moon." Two different souls that were meant to be together._

_"Supposing I'm the moon, can you be my first traveler?" Soobin asked, he had a trick up on his sleeves._

_"Why?"_

_"For people will remember you as the moon's first companion." Soobin smiled. " Just like Armstrong, people will think of the moon when he is mentioned."_

_"Of course. I'm the 'home of the home', I'm the 'moon's first companion', and I'm the 'Choi Yeonjun of Choi Soobin.'" Yeonjun smiled back. "and you, binnie, are the 'home', the 'moon', the 'Choi Soobin of Choi Yeonjun.'"_

_The song changed. All the couples stood up and joined them. The room was full of people slow dancing to the[song](https://open.spotify.com/track/46n2EGFnPC3tzWCN1Aqe26?si=ZtvT1yyGSiCoVW3XKavoqA). The song was not really an ideal music for a slow dance but the message of the song; The song holds the couple's feelings. _

_"Oh. This I promise you." Yeonjun knows this song too well. "I'll be your strength, binnie."_

_"I'll give you hope." Soobin sang along. "Ah, Junnie. I wanna grow old with you, singing love songs with you."_

_"We will, with the ten corgis." Both laughed at what Yeonjun said._

_"I wanna spend the rest of my life beside you," Yeonjun pauses. "and this I promise you ."_

"If I can time travel back to past, I'll go back to the day we got married." Soobin told him. 

"Why? Are you going to run away?" Yeonjun joked.

"No!" Soobin slapped his shoulder. "I just wanna experience it all over again. I wanna see you waiting for me from the other side of the aisle again."

"Do you want me to marry you a hundred million times?"

"Why not?"

"Then..." Yeonjun cleared his throat. "Choi Soobin, you know what I feel even if I don't say something that long, right?"

"Hmmm."

"I love you, and I will continue to do so until the universe vanishes."

"The universe will never vanish." Soobin joked, brightening the atmosphere.

"Shush, I'm not yet done with my vow." Yeonjun put his finger on top of Soobin's lips. "I will marry you for every lifetime I'll live. And I, Choi Yeonjun, promise that."

"I love you so much." Soobin ruffled Yeonjun's hair. "I'm getting exhausted, I wanna go home."

"Home is where you are."

"I meant our home, the house where we live." Soobin rolled his eyes jokingly.

* * *

Yeonjun will be fine.

He will move on. He will when he can let go already.

He didn't open the journal, still scared to know what holds the remaining pages.


	3. The Sunset

[perfect](https://open.spotify.com/track/0tgVpDi06FyKpA1z0VMD4v?si=tsNrc6XGSPqLgtvjkZP89A)

Soobin loves ~~Yeonjun~~ the moon.

The way he would constantly tell stories about it and his never-ending compliments.

He talks about the things he treasure the most as if those are the most precious ones ever to exist, whether he's talking about the moon or Yeonjun, the words come out very softly.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why he holds Yeonjun so dearly, because he found warmth in him, just like how the sun gives warmth towards the moon.

Yeonjun is the Sun and Soobin is the Moon.

Two contradicting things who'll do anything just to see that familiar smile over and over again.

_3.) The beach we rented for two days_

_Yeonjun.. I love him so much_

_Slow dancing while the sun is setting? Yeah_

_I thought 'that' only existed in movies but he proved me wrong_

_and Yeonjun, He was glowing; He really IS the sun_

_I want that to happen again. To slow dance at the beach._

_I realized, to dance with him is and will always be my dream._

* * *

It was June eleven when they decided to rent the whole resort for a two-day vacation.

They wanted to be alone together in the beach.

The season of summer is starting; They both wanted to take a break from working and just relax for the mean time.

Yeonjun and Soobin were both sitting on the ground at the seashore. It was dawn, the sun is slowly setting.

"i think we deserve this." Soobin started. "This short vacation I mean."

"We do, really. Taking a small break from work is not a bad thing."

"I missed this. It's just the two of us, alone, not worrying for what will happen today."

"I missed this too... I missed you." Yeonjun looked at Soobin. "Do you wanna dance?"

"Here? At the seashore?" Soobin asked, confirming.

"Yeah! Isn't it romantic? Slow dancing by the seashore while the sun is setting."

"If that's what you want, why not?" They both got up from the ground and shook off the sands.

Yeonjun plugged his earphones on his phone and played a song. Yeonjun put the other earphone on Soobin's.

"You know, binnie. This has always been my dream date." Yeonjun admitted, their bodies swaying together. "Dates on the beach at dawn."

"You have always been my dream date." The sunlight was resting on them, they were glowing. Two dancing silhouettes if you look at them from afar. "Junnie,"

Soobin looked at the setting sun for a second.

"The sunset... it's beautiful, right?" Soobin looked at Yeonjun's eyes.

"Yeah... it's beautiful, really beautiful. I can watch this scenery for a million times." Yeonjun said, looking at the sunset; oblivious to the fact that the sun was him, it was not about the sun or the sunset. "But I think, you're prettier than the sunset."

"Hmmm."

"Seeing your smile is like seeing the sun up-close." Yeonjun smiled at Soobin.

"Yeah? but I think you are the sun though."

"How come?"

"You've always made sure to make my days bright, even my nights." Soobin hugged the boy in front of him. "My life revolves around the sun, and it's you."

"Fuck, I love you so much, binnie." Yeonjun rested his head on Soobin's shoulder, Soobin was ruffling Yeonjun's hair.

"Instead of Earth, there was you. The moon will always be beside the sun, whether it melts or not, it'll stay by its side." 

_But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_

Yeonjun stopped dancing. "Forever," He tiptoed and gave Soobin a kiss on his forehead. 

"You'll be" Yeonjun kissed him on his nose.

"My" Yeonjun kissed him on his cheek.

"Moon." Yeonjun kissed his lips. 

There and then, the sun and moon kissed. The scenery was rather lovely.

The sun was setting, the song was playing, the two kissing silhouettes of the couple, and the calming sound of the sea.

It was like a solar eclipse. One of the rare moments to witness wherein the sun and moon are overlapping. 

Yeonjun is the sun and Soobin is the moon; and at that moment when their lips found each other, the solar eclipse happened.

They, then, continued hugging after; watching the sun set, waiting for the moon to rise. 

"I'm so thankful to have you, Binnie." Yeonjun said. "I swear I'm never gonna let you go."

"Even if the world lets go of me?"

"Even if the world lets go, I'll hold your hand tight." Yeonjun smiled at him, that same smile he gave when he saw him standing on the other side of the aisle. "The moon only needs the sun right? So does the sun; it only needs the moon. Just like what you said, Instead of Earth, there was you."

" _Oh._ " Soobin realized he was extremely lucky to spend the rest of his life with the man he's holding right there. 

"If the world lets go of you, take me with you." Yeonjun laughs. "You might feel lonely, I wouldn't want that. Such as what I told you before, I'm the moon's first companion, first and only companion."

"I hope you know how much I treasure you." 

"I do, binnie. I know it too well."

"You know, Junnie. Wh-" Yeonjun stole a kiss from Soobin. He ran away, Soobin chasing him as he runs around the seashore.

Yeonjun ran and ran and ran, laughing at how close their gap is but Soobin can't still reach him. _Too close yet too far._

They keep running around the place, not caring if there are people watching.

They were smiling and laughing, all the burdens were gone. They were happy.

He ran and ran until Soobin catches up to him, picking Yeonjun up spinning their bodies. 

"You," Soobin stares at Yeonjun while carrying him. "You're so cute."

"Am I?" Yeonjun asks. "Kiss me then, if you think I'm cute."

"Hmmm?" 

Soobin quickly kissed his lips and then proceeded to putting him down on the sands.

"As as I was saying," Soobin clears his throat. "Why don't we collect shells? I saw a lot."

"Go ahead, binnie. I'll watch you collect those shells."

Soobin roamed alone the beach, searching for shells. He was holding a ~~not so~~ small bucket he brought from the store earlier.

"One.... Two..... Three....."

Soobin roamed more until he arrived at a spot where there were dozens of shells, different kinds.

"Two hundred thirty three.... Two hundred thirty four.... Two hundred thirty five....."

He went back to Yeonjun and showed him the ~~not so~~ small bucket was now full of shells.

"Hey, Junnie." Soobin was smiling. "Picked up a lot of shells there." Pointing at the spot where he collected it all.

"Really? How many have you collected?"

"365 shells!" Soobin smiled.

"Wow, that's a lot."

"Well... I intentionally collected 365 shells..."

"Yeah? Tell me."

"Each shells represent the reasons why I love you. A shell for a reason." Soobin looked at the shells. "You're gonna wake up everyday, starting tomorrow, seeing a shell and a note on your table."

"You.... I love you so much, very."

"I'll do this for a year. Be glad that I love you so much." Soobin kissed Yeonjun on his head. "Look forward to your mornings."

"I'll sure do."

The moon finally showed up, it was smiling at them. The moon was happy too.

* * *

Yeonjun will soon be fine.

He will be happy, again. He will wear that familiar smile, again.

He never opened the journal again, still afraid of the resurfacing memories.


	4. My Last Dance

[crazier](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vyxXfD5gLlyPxGZMEjtmd?si=Iov1V1EuRwSAAeTj30yGPg)   
  


Soobin loves ~~Yeonjun~~ the moon.

The way he would patiently wait for it to come.

He can wait for a hundred and million years, whether it's Yeonjun or the moon he's waiting for, he will wait.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why he holds Yeonjun so dearly, because he found love in him, just like how the sun loves the moon.

Yeonjun is the Sun and Soobin is the Moon.

Two contradicting things who'll find each other no matter where they are.

_4.) The rooftop of our home_

_It's been 3 months since that and_

_I don't know if I'll be able to write more after this._

_It's September 17 today, one day before our anniversary comes._

_I'm writing this in advance,_

_We'll wait for twelve o'clock to come together later._

_I want to dance with him again._

_I want to fill all the blank pages in this journal._

_It can't just end here._

_Take me back to the night we met._

* * *

It was late in the evening already, around 10 pm.

It was seventeenth of September, a day before their anniversary.

They're waiting for it, it's their fourth year already.

This year was extra special.

They were in the rooftop of their house, sitting on the sofa they just bought.

"Hey, binnie." Yeonjun turned to look at Soobin. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Soobin smiled. "Really. I took a lot of rest these past few days just for this night."

"Just making sure."

"How about you?" Soobin asked back.

"Not gonna lie but I feel nervous." Yeonjun held Soobin's hand. "You know... It's been exactly three months, I'm just worried."

"Don't be, Junnie." Soobin clasped their hands. "We still have yet to grow old with the ten corgis."

_It was late afternoon in June when Soobin called Yeonjun._

_"Hey, binnie. Do you want me to pick you up from work?"_

_"Uhh, I'm at our house already. I went home early today. Can you maybe.... come home right now?"_

_"Sure, binnie. Are you alright?" Yeonjun asked while picking his things up._

_"Yes, I am.."_

_Yeonjun rushed home and bought a porridge. Soobin's call, he felt worried._

_"Binnie?" Yeonjun took of his shoes and socks, looking for Soobin._

_"Hey. I'm here." Soobin replied, his voice coming from their bedroom._

_"Hey, what's up?" Yeonjun sat on the bed, looking at the other boy worriedly._

_"I kinda..... fainted earlier while I was busy with my work." Soobin said. "I've been fainting quite a lot these days."_

_"Are you okay?" Yeonjun asked worriedly. "Don't overwork yourself."_

_"Yeah, I just wanted to take some rest." Soobin smiled weakly. "And thank you."_

_"Hmm. Go take some rest."_

_"Good night."_

"Yeah. We'll grow old with the ten corgis while living on a big house." They promised a bright future for each other.

"We'll watch the sunset with the ten corgis on our big house in the future." Soobin reassured him.

"Live for yourself and your dreams. Our dreams."

"I'll live for you," Soobin ruffled his hair. "I'll live for us."

_"Hey, Yeonjun." Soobin said from the other line, voice shaking.  
_

_"Binnie? Are you okay?"_

_"Yeonjun, I'm scared." He sounded like he just finished crying._

_"Breathe, binnie. Where are you?"_

_"I'm home." He answered, inhaling and exhaling slowly._

_"I'll go home now. Wait for me."_

_Yeonjun rushed home once again. Soobin is not okay. He was very worried._

_"Yeonjun." Soobin called out when he saw him._

_"Binnie. Are you okay?" Yeonjun sat beside him._

_"I went to the infirmary today. The doctor in our office's clinic told me to go to one." Soobin pauses. "So I went to one, had a check up and all." He started tearing up._

_"Yeah? Go on." Yeonjun caressed his back._

_"They said I was sick. I'm at my limit. That was the reason why I kept on feeling too tired." Soobin said, the words were coming out weakly. "They said if I'm lucky, 6 months until you know; but if not, three months, which is more likely." His heart was running too fast as he uttered that; He's not afraid to die, but rather he was afraid that Yeonjun would feel lonely and alone._

_"You're joking." Yeonjun said in disbelief._

_"I'm not." Soobin smiled, that familiar smile Yeonjun loves seeing so much. A tear escaped from his eyes._

_"Please tell me you're kidding." His hands were shaking._

_"I can only wish."_

_"You're really going to leave?" He asked weakly._

_"Hmm."_

_"Can't they do anything about it?" Yeonjun pleaded. He would do anything for the other boy to continue living, he would._

_"Yeonjun," Soobin called. "they can't."_

_"What about our dreams? We still have a lot, right? Binnie, please." He was getting weaker and weaker._

_"You'll grow old alone with the ten corgis." Soobin laughed while tears continued to stream down. "You're gonna live on a big house without me, and I'll be watching you from afar. Just like how the moon is watching the earth."_

_"Binnie." His voice was shaky._

_"_ _Armstrong left the moon alone, but in our case; The moon will leave the companion alone." Soobin can only smile, feeling sorry for Yeonjun._

_"Don't say that." Yeonjun said. "Why do you even sound happy?"_

_"Don't feel sad, Junnie. I wanna go happily." Soobin held Yeonjun's hand. "For the next three months, act natural. Just like how we used to before."_

  
_"Please, Junnie." Soobin laid Yeonjun's head on his shoulder. "It's my last wish." Soobin caressed his head._

_Yeonjun slowly breathes. "What do you want to have for breakfast tomorrow?" Yeonjun asked Soobin, asking the same question he always does every night._

_"Cook for me." Soobin told him. "My favorite one."_

"Binnie," Yeonjun called.

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna wake up tomorrow with a shell and a note, right?" He said, more like convincing himself.

"You will, I promise." Soobin played along for the sake of Yeonjun's smile.

"I'm glad." He smiled. "Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?" 

"It is." Soobin agreed, looking at the bright moon. "I love you too."

"It's glowing." Yeonjun said while looking at Soobin. It was never about the moon, it'll never be about the moon. "You're glowing."

The moon was very bright that night, it's blinding. Soobin was lucky to witness this on his last night.

"I suddenly remember, people always tell us that the moon is following you all the time." Soobin ruffled his hair again. "So Junnie. If I'm your moon, I will always follow you and be with you. No matter where you are, I'll keep you company." 

"Binnie, I love you so much." Yeonjun said, but this time it felt different. It was as if he could never say it again next time. "I will tell you how much I love you a hundred more times this night."

"I love you too, a lot. Forever, you'll be my sun, right?"

"Right." Yeonjun looked at his phone. It was already 10:30 in the evening. "Do you wanna dance?" Yeonjun held his hand out. He asked him to dance one last time.

"I would love to." Soobin accepted his hand. He saw a bright moon on his first dance with Yeonjun and he also saw one on his last dance. He had always been lucky.

They opened the speakers and played a song on loop.

Soobin put his arms around Yeonjun's body, like he's hugging him; The boy in front of him put his on Soobin's waist.

The taller boy rested his head on the top of Yeonjun's shoulder.

They're dancing to the song slowly, swaying their bodies together. 

Yeonjun's leading the dance, also making sure to not tire Soobin out too much.

He had always cared about Soobin more than himself, it has always been Soobin.

They were shining under the moon and millions of stars, the spotlight was on them.

"Junnie, Thank you so much." Soobin whispered.

"Hmmm? For what?" 

"For filling my life with happiness and colors." Soobin twirled Yeonjun.

"I told you before, didn't I? I'd do anything for you." Yeonjun smiled sadly. "Just to make you happy."

"I'll forever be thankful to God for letting me meet you." Soobin kissed Yeonjun's cheek. "I'll continue loving you even if I'm up there already."

"You should!" Yeonjun said weakly. "I'll also continue loving you even if you're not by my sight anymore." A tear dropped on Soobin's shirt.

"Even if I'm a hundred million miles away from you?" 

"Hmmm." Yeonjun answered. "Even if I can't see you anymore, even if I can't hear you anymore, even if I can't smell you anymore, even if I can't kiss you anymore, and even if I can't touch you anymore; It's still you I'll love." Soobin felt his shirt getting wet.

"Are you crying?" Soobin asked an obvious question. He wanted to let go of the embrace to wipe the tears away but Yeonjun tightened the hug.

"I'm not. I'm just sweaty."

"It's September." Soobin laughed. Oh how Yeonjun will miss hearing that.

"My point still stands."

"I'm sorry." Soobin spoke softly. "I'm sorry because I had to leave early."

"It's alright, Binnie. We'll all go at the end anyway it's just that," Yeonjun steadied his breath. "I thought we'll die together, because of how old we are at that time, on our big house."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Yeonjun patted his back. "I'm glad you lived a happy life. I'm glad that even tonight, you're still happy."

"It's because of you."

Silence enveloped them. They danced passionately, as if the world was ending.

This was their last moment.

They danced with no mistakes, because there's no more tomorrow.

They made the most out of it under the glowing sky.

"Binnie, how are you feeling?" Yeonjun worriedly asked. He was anxious.

"I feel okay, I feel happy."

"Are you sure you're not feeling tired?"

"I'm not." Soobin smiled. He'll really miss hearing Yeonjun's voice, the care in it.

"Tell me if you're not feeling fine, we'll stop dancing and..." Yeonjun paused. "and I'll let you take a rest already." It was as if he had just given up and accepted the truth.

"I will." Soobin ruffled Yeonjun's hair. "I'll miss doing that; I'll miss playing with your hair."

"I'll miss you." Yeonjun asked Soobin if he was alright but did he ever ask himself if he's okay? He never did, he always made sure Soobin was alright.

"I'll miss you too." Soobin hugged him tighter. "How am I supposed to go when you're making it harder for me?" Soobin said jokingly.

"Don't go then." Yeonjun knew he couldn't do anything, he had always known. What he could do only is to make Soobin's remaining hours memorable.

"You know, Junnie. I don't mind dying, even right now, because I feel happy and contented already with my life. We created a lot of memories, happy ones." He smiled and for the first time that night, it didn't hurt.

"I'm not ready to let go of you yet. I don't know what I would do after this." Yeonjun wiped his tears. "But if you're ready to go, then I'll make myself ready for you."  
  


"Maybe it's time for you to prioritize yourself now." Soobin's shirt was really wet but he didn't mind. "Maybe it's time to put yourself first in everything, and not me anymore."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Yeonjun asked, his voice was shaking. "When I lived my whole life prioritizing you." He will never be ready to let go of him.

"This is why I love you so much." Soobin ruffled his hair for the hundredth time. "Junnie,"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna dance with you again." Yeonjun didn't respond, he didn't know how to answer it. It felt like Soobin was slowly getting away from him, as if he's not in his arms anymore.

Soobin is Yeonjun's but Yeonjun was Soobin's. It felt like that, as if no one owns Yeonjun anymore.

"My dream was to slow dance with you and I'm glad you made it happen." 

"Of course, I would. It became my dream too." Yeonjun admitted. "To slow dance with you."

Soobin removed himself from the embrace and stared at Yeonjun's face.

He thought he was beautiful even if his face was red and puffy.

He took his time scanning his face.

"You have the most beautiful lips I have ever seen."

Soobin leaned in and kissed Yeonjun. 

They weren't rushing it, it felt like home.

They were taking it nicely and slowly as if they had all the time. 

He kissed him with care, love, and affection.

Tears fell from Yeonjun's eyes, he would surely miss this.

It was a bittersweet kiss. 

Soobin wiped Yeonjun's cheeks.

He rested his forehead on Yeonjun's.

"Don't cry, Junnie." He kissed his nose. "I want to see your smile before I leave." Yeonjun cried harder.

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it." Soobin caressed his back.

"God, who would wipe your tears when I'm gone?" Soobin laughed. "We should have bought the ten corgis already."

"They can't wipe my tears away."

"Teach them to, for me." Soobin giggled at the thought. "Imagine the corgis approaching you because they sensed that you're crying. Wouldn't that be cute?"

"It would be, but you wouldn't be there to witness it."

"Hmmm?" Yeonjun calmed down a bit. "I will. The moon will always accompany you, won't it?"

And that night, the moon was the companion and not Armstrong anymore.

"Junnie," Soobin called.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go and sit down?" He asked, looking a bit worn off.

"Of course. Do you feel exhausted?"

"A little?" Yeonjun knew at that moment. His heart was racing. He wasn't ready and will never be.

They sat down on the couch. They were looking at the sky as the cold wind embraced them.

"You know, binnie. We rarely take photos together."

"They said people who are closer do not take photos usually." Soobin said. "Do you want to take one?"

"Of course!" Yeonjun exclaimed.

Soobin held the camera. "Wow, I look so good."

Yeonjun scoffed. "Excuse me."

"It's a pity that you're the only one seeing me." 

"I'm the prettiest here." Yeonjun said.

"You're not." Soobin said jokingly.

One. Two. Three. Soobin clicked the shutter button. 

Yeonjun was looking at him and not on the camera. "Take another one again! Why do I look like that?"

They took a lot of photos. They were smiling, they were happy.

The smile he loves seeing the most will be seen through the screen only in the future.

Yeonjun was checking all the pictures they took.

"Hey, you look really tired." Yeonjun said worriedly. 

Soobin touched his face. "I am. But don't worry."

Yeonjun patted his right shoulder. "Sleep on my shoulder." He was slowly breaking apart.

"You're going to wake me up, aren't you?" Soobin laughed weakly.

"I won't. Sleep here."

"You'll wake me and say you want to dance." Soobin looked at the moon.

"I won't. Sleep now." Yeonjun smiled at him. It was genuine.

Soobin looked at his shoulder and laid his head on it. He smiled back at him, though Yeonjun couldn't see it.

"Are you asleep?" Yeonjun asked.

"Hmmm."

"How did you answer then?" Truth be told, he didn't want him to sleep yet. "Are you really asleep?" Yeonjun rested his head on Soobin's.

"Not yet." He answered weakly.

"Am I not pretty at all?"

"You're pretty. You're prettier than the moon and sun." Yeonjun smiled.

The stars were all twinkling.

"Are you asleep yet?"   
  
  


"Yeonjun, I'm tired." His voice sounded very fragile.

"Sleep tight then, my moon." His vision was blurry. He paused for a while.

"Are you really asleep?" No one answered him. It's just the cold wind.

"Okay." Yeonjun smiled sadly. "I won't talk."

"I won't wake you up, either." Still, no answer.

"Fine. You had a really long day today." A tear dropped. "I won't wake you up again to dance with me." 

"Forget about me," He didn't want him to.

"Forget about our dreams," He wouldn't allow him to.

"And forget everything." He was shaking. "Don't think about anything. I won't bother you anymore. Just sleep."

Soobin looked peaceful. Yeonjun glanced at the moon above them.

"Thank you, Soobin." Another tear escaped. "See you tomorrow. I'll cook your favorite food for you when you wake up."

A shooting star passed by. His only dream at that moment was Soobin waking up and telling him that he's alright.

Soobin is the moon and Yeonjun is the sun.

Two bodies that can never be seen at the same time except eclipses; and that is why the moon has decided to now set.

He used to be within his grasp but now Soobin is as far as the moon from him.

The boy looked at his phone, it was 11:11 already.

11:11, Yeonjun wished for Soobin to live longer.

11:12, Soobin slept forever and accompanied the moon.


	5. Again

[ghost of you](https://open.spotify.com/track/1MhXdlCQPnO56T57MfmaRm?si=Cf_krb6aQ-GxEC369CVegg)

Yeonjun loves ~~Soobin~~ the sun.

The way he would look at it as if it's the prettiest thing ever to exist.

He can stare at it for as long as he can, whether it's Soobin or the sun, he would look at it with sparkling eyes.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why he holds Soobin so dearly, because he found love in him, just like how the sun loves the moon.

Yeonjun is the Sun, Soobin is the Moon, and people who witnessed their love for each other are the Stars.

The universe is not complete without them. 

_Dear Santa Claus,_

_I'm Choi Yeonjun. I'm 29 years old and I know you don't exist._

_This sounds so dumb but I'm writing this letter because I want to ask for a gift._

_I know I'm not a kid anymore._

_In my twenty nine_ _years of existence, this is my first time asking for a gift from_ _you._

_All I'm asking for is a day with Soobin again._

_I know it's_ _ridiculous_ _but please, just one day._

It's already 24th of December, Christmas eve. Yeonjun is spending his night in the rooftop, alone. 

He's drinking an americano while looking at the scenery in front of him. 

He misses celebrating Christmas eve with Soobin. 

This is the third time he spent it without him and there will be more.

He realizes that he'll spend a lot of Christmas celebrating it alone rather than spending it together with Soobin.

He's longing for his warmth so much. They could've been cuddling on their shared bed tonight, if only.

Yeonjun hears a bark, cutting his thoughts off.

"Hey, Sirius." Yeonjun calls the corgi.

He now owns a corgi. He bought one, a year ago. He felt lonely somehow after what happened.

Yeonjun named it after the brightest star. The sun needs a company because the moon isn't there beside it anymore.

Sirius is always there whenever he feels blue, it's as if Soobin is right there beside him again.

Soobin promised to grow old with him alongside the ten corgis on a big house yet he broke it unintentionally.

"What are you doing here?" He asks it as if he's talking to a toddler. The dog barks back.

"You wanna spend the rest of the night with me?" Yeonjun picks the dog up and carries it. He's embracing the cold wind. He closes his eyes.

"You know, Sirius. I think Soobin would be very happy if he finds out that I own a corgi now. He'll be glad to know that I'm not alone anymore." Yeonjun smiles. "I'm slowly making our dreams come true."

"I want him to see this. I want him to come back again." He wipes his eyes. "I don't care anymore if his ghost appears right now, I just want to see him again."

Sirius barks. "Don't worry, I'm not crying. I'm just sweating." Sirius barks again. "Binnie, are you seeing this? I did a good job teaching him, right?" Yeonjun kisses the corgi's head. "He knows when I'm sad. You told me to teach them to wipe my tears away for you. I'm still in the process of teaching him."

Yeonjun misses Soobin unbearably. Everything just reminds him of the other boy.

The love songs, the rooftop, the café, the beach, the sunset, and especially, the moon.

The moon never shined again like how it did on the night they had their last dance. It became dull.

"Forever, you'll be my moon." No one responded unlike before. He misses their first dance; When Soobin told him what his dream was and that dream became his too.

He misses their second dance; When he told him he will marry him a hundred times if that's what Soobin wants because his happiness matters more than anything.

He misses their third dance; When they danced while the sun was setting and Soobin also collected 365 shells to give those to him every morning yet he ended up giving less than a hundred only.

He misses their fourth and last dance; When Soobin ruffled his hair a lot that night and that was the last time he saw his smile.

He wants to dance with him again. 

"Hey, binnie. Are you hearing me?" Yeonjun sniffled. "I want to see you right now. It doesn't matter if it's your ghost, I just wanna know if you're doing fine." 

"I do hope that you're in a better place now where you're not suffering anymore."

"Binnie," Yeonjun breathes slowly.

"I celebrated my birthday alone this year. It felt new because you weren't there beside me."

"I also spent our anniversary alone. I went to the beach that day. I watched the sunset alone." A tear dropped.

"I spent your birthday at your parents' house. They were glad to see me again. I missed them."

Yeonjun bows his head down. 

"I shouldn't be crying, I should be happy. It's Christmas." The corgi licks his hand.

"Don't worry, Sirius. I'm fine." Yeonjun caresses its fur. "I just miss him, that's all."

He sits down on the couch. He's still seated on the same side. He puts the corgi beside him, the side Soobin used to occupy all the time. He closes his eyes.

Yeonjun remembers the day after he left him, their fourth anniversary. He woke up beside Soobin. He was sleeping peacefully while his head was resting on Yeonjun's shoulder. He cried first thing in the morning, couldn't believe that it wasn't a bad dream. He was crying really hard that when he called Soobin's parents, they couldn't understand a thing. Yeonjun spent his whole day crying on their shared bed. It even got worse when he saw the shell and the note on their side table. Soobin must've put it there before the night came. _'_ _Reason 99, I love you because you are you'_ was written there. He held it carefully in his hands, afraid that it might break. Their fourth anniversary, it was gloomy. There were no special dates, no surprise gifts, and no Soobin. No good morning to wake up to. 

It's raining snow, it is cold. Season of winter, they both love winter more than any other seasons.

He wants to spend another winter with him; another spring, another summer, and another autumn.

Yeonjun opens his eyes. He sees Soobin, standing near the door of the rooftop. 

He freaked out. He doesn't know what to do. He seems to want to cry.

He walks closer to him. Every step he takes feels heavy.

He stops in front of him.

"Hey, binnie." Yeonjun calls him, his voice is shaking.

"Hey." It's been a long time since he last heard his voice. He was scared, happy, and sad.

"Is this really you?" There and then, Yeonjun finally cried. "Are you real?"

"Yeah, It's-" He cuts Soobin off.

"Actually no. Don't tell me. I don't care if you're a ghost or a figment of my imagination." He takes a deep breath. "I just wanna spend Christmas eve with you."

"I miss you, Junnie." Those three words have never sounded this sad. 

"Hmmm." Yeonjun buried his face on his hands. 

"I wanna wipe your tears away but I can't." Soobin tried ruffling his hair, he may not feel it physically but it's there.

"Binnie" Yeonjun just kept on crying. He misses him too damn much. "I love you."

"I love you too." Soobin notices the corgi. "You own a corgi now?"

"Yeah. I bought it a year ago." Both walk straight near the railings and leans on it.

"How about the other nine?"

"I'll adopt more after I buy a bigger house." Yeonjun embraces the wind. "It's a pity though that you won't be there to see me."

"I'm sorry." Soobin looked at the moon. "How are you?"

"I'm feeling better than before. How about you?" Yeonjun still can't believe that he's here, having a conversation with him.

"I'm currently in a nice place." On a place where he's not in pain anymore. 

"That's good to hear." He wished for this, good thing it came true.

"Are you happy?"

"I am, especially right now." He is once again happy and that's because of Soobin.

"I'm glad then."

Both aren't talking that much. It's still not sinking in to them that they're right beside each other.

"Binnie," Yeonjun looked towards the moon.

"Yeah?"

"I missed dancing with you."

"If only I can, I will dance with you right now." He says. Soobin still looks the same, he's wearing the black and white shirt he wore before he go. His body, you can see it but you can't feel it.   
  


"We can." Yeonjun played a [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/6eqtsVnkxd5VUtKXzygv8k?si=yn_h1cgKS1KzaWow-rVW7g) on his phone.

He hangs his arms on ~~Soobin's arms~~ the air. He misses this. Swaying their bodies, left and right.

"I miss you so much, Binnie." Yeonjun speaks. "I feel so lonely."

"If you ever feel lonely and alone, just look for the moon." Soobin replied. "If you see it, then it means that I'm looking back at you, I'm guarding you, I'm accompanying you."

"And if the moon won't show up?" Yeonjun realizes he misses having this kind of conversations with him.

"It will, always." Soobin looked at the moon. "It's glowing tonight."

Oh how they longed for this. To dance with one another has always been their dream.

"Junnie,"

"Hmm?"

"Forever, you'll be my sun."

"Forever, you'll be my moon. Even if you're not here anymore." Yeonjun started tearing up again. "I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the past. I'm trying, I swear. It's just that, I just can't seem to let go of you yet."

"Junnie, it's okay. Really. It's okay if you still can't move on. It's okay if you still love me. It's also okay if you have moved on and don't love me anymore. Just don't let yourself drown in sadness. Don't let yourself be blue. I've always seen you as the color yellow, Bright and my favorite. Be happy. Be free, Junnie." Soobin tells him. "It's okay to let go of me now."

"Please stay." 

"You know that I can't, right?" Soobin smiled. 

"Please." He pleads. They're not dancing anymore yet the song's still playing.

"I'll be here until the clock hits 12 am, I promise." He reassures him.

"The last time you promised me something, you broke it." Soobin laughs sadly.

"I won't break it this time." 

It's 11:45 pm already, it won't be long until Christmas comes. 

"Junnie, I wanna play something for you before the night ends but..." Soobin takes a deep breath.

"I'll do it for you. Piano, right?" Yeonjun walks to the living room where the organ piano is placed. "What song?" Yeonjun turns it on.

"The one I always used to play. Memorize our night."

Yeonjun places his hand on top of the keys. He presses the keys of G, B, and C to start the song. 

_"On the path where I counted the days and looked back,_ _I’m going to stop my long journey."_ Yeonjun is playing the piano too softly, just like how Soobin used to before. He remembered the days Soobin played this song for him. He always watched him play this song until he decided to teach him.

_"_ _When you said we’ll stay the same, I got upset so I hope you’ll hold me. But,"_ Tears dropped on the keys. He doesn't want Soobin to stop his journey yet he wants him to take a rest already too. It's the battle of needs and wants.

_"I know the goodbye is coming, When the night rain stops"_ Yeonjun sings along with Soobin. The sound of their voices and the piano, it's home.

_"I’ll look back some day, I’ll memorize our night"_ He plays an adlib, touching the keys gently. He misses the times where both of them play the piano together, fingers that were colliding.

"I miss this. I'll memorize this night, indeed." Yeonjun looks at Soobin. "I'll never forget this night."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm sure of it."

Both walk back to the rooftop terrace. Sirius' nowhere to be found, it must be sleeping already.

"How are you feeling?" Soobin asks him. 

"Good." Yeonjun looks at his phone. "Oh. Time sure runs fast."

"I'm going to leave soon, again." Soobin smiles sadly.

"Thank you, binnie. Thank you so much for spending this night with me again. I've been wishing on the moon for this night to come for two years then." 

"Why do you sound like you're saying goodbye to me already?" Soobin laughs.

"I just regretted not saying everything I wanted to before." Yeonjun claps his hands. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Soobin looks at him. "Junnie, Thank you so much too. Continue to live happily. Live for me, live for yourself, and live for Sirius." Yeonjun smiled at what he said. 

"I'll do." He looks at the fireworks in the sky. "A minute before Christmas comes."

"And Yeonjun, It's alright if you're willing to forget me." He says. "Your memories of me will fade within time. In your heart too, I'll fade within time."

Yeonjun looked at Soobin. "I love you, binnie."

"I love you too, junnie." Soobin smiles widely. "Though it ends here, let the sun and moon meet again, until our skies meet, our paths cross again, and until the planets of our solar system line up." 

"Hmm. We'll meet again."

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Soobin says. "Goodbye!"

They are saying their farewells quietly. This time, it didn't hurt. Yeonjun's one and only wish for the past two years finally came true.

"Goodbye." The pain he's feeling right now isn't as severe as before.

Soobin kisses his tears away. Yeonjun can't feel it physically but he can feel it emotionally and mentally. He then kisses his forehead, ruffling his hair after. Soobin misses Yeonjun just as much.

And then, the clock hits 12. Yeonjun may not spend the Christmas day with Soobin but at least he spent the Christmas Eve with him.

The moon is glowing, the display of fireworks is spectacular, and at last, the Sun is smiling. 

The story never ends, doesn't it? They will meet again in a lifetime where they can finally grow old together with ten corgis in a big house; and at that lifetime, Yeonjun surely wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Merry Christmas, my moon."


	6. My First First Dance

[araw-araw](https://open.spotify.com/track/4rG3h1QwgjSSWz8EIjCFrm?si=o9nI3aNeSZyL9BznAnvUaQ)

Yeonjun loves the sun, just like how Soobin loves the moon.

Their lives began the day they met. They cherish each other so much.

Their love for each other is unconditional and eternal. Words cannot even express the deep love they have for each other.

Yeonjun is the Sun and Soobin is the moon.

He was the day and he was the night.

He lived for misty mornings and he lived for crazy midnights.

They were opposite souls.

Yet both waited patiently, For the rare days when they might coexist peacefully.

People who witnessed their love for each other are the Stars.

They watched them yearn for each other.

The Stars waited together for the eclipses to happen.

_Let the sun and moon meet again on a night where they can finally be together for an eternity._

It's one of the most awaited days for most people, the prom night, but not for Yeonjun. He would rather binge watch some series on Netflix than to dance with people. But sadly, luck isn't on his side. He was forced to attend the prom night thus he had no choice but to go.   
  


So, here he is right now, on the rooftop of their school; Quietly listening to the songs that are playing. He's standing by the other side of the rooftop, watching as the cars pass by and how the city lights up. The moon is glowing tonight. The sight is breathtaking. 

All his classmates and friends are partying downstairs. He wants a company too. _The moon will always accompany you, won't it?_ He feels lonely yet he's also enjoying his time alone. 

He read a story online about how the moon is always following people because it's trying to find its first companion. He looks at the moon. "Have you found them yet?" He asks it, as if it's going to answer. "I hope you find them soon." _I didn't know that even the moon also felt lonely. No matter how many stars it's surrounded by, if they aren't the ones it wants to be with._

Yeonjun's minding his own business until someone enters from the door. Ah, another student who probably doesn't want to attend this event yet had no choice either. The student looks like he's around his age. He can't see his face since it's kind of dark up there. _Probably my batch mate_ , Yeonjun thinks. The other boy stands near him.

"Choi Yeonjun?" The black haired boy asks. The confused look is visible on his face. He's wondering how the hell did he know his name. But then, maybe it's because he's Choi Yeonjun of the famous dance club. Until he recognizes his face finally.

"Yeah. Choi Soobin?" The said Soobin nods his head. They've talked for numerous times already but it's only because they needed to, mostly for their projects and Yeonjun's too shy to approach him because your boy got a crush!  
  


"Didn't expect you to remember. What are you doing here by the way, if you don't mind me asking." How would he not remember him, when Yeonjun would always stare at him unknowingly whenever it's their history class.

"I'm bored. How about you?" Yeonjun looks at the moon, his mouth agape. The moon is indeed beautiful.

"Same thing." The other boy looks at the moon too. The sight is breathtaking. They are silently observing the city when Soobin remembers something.

"I've got a question for you. I've always wondered..." Soobin shifts his gaze from the moon to Yeonjun. "What is more beautiful; how the moon lets the sun shine throughout the day or the way the sun lets the moon glimmer at night?"

Yeonjun doesn't know how to answer that question. He probably didn't expect it. _Shit, this_ _is harder than the egg or chicken question,_ he thinks. He gathers every brain cell left and all he can say is "You."   
  


He fucked up. 

"Me?" Soobin laughs and Yeonjun swears he can listen to it all day.

"You're prettier than the moon and sun." There's no going back, the damage has been done.

"Hmm. I think the sun and moon's relationship is painfully beautiful. They just kept chasing and missing each other, even had to wait for months just to be beside each other." _He sure does love astrology a lot, huh?_   
  


"Wow. Your interest in the moon and sun is interesting." _Just like you, you're interesting._ He says in mind.

"Not really. I just like to relate the moon and sun to love." Soobin says. The white suit he's wearing is paired with Yeonjun's, unplanned. "If I were to enter a relationship, I would really love it if my significant other would call me their moon and then I'd call them my sun."   
  


"You'll hear me calling you 'my moon' in the near future then." Where is he getting all this confidence? Yeonjun wants to disappear. He's getting too embarrassed from himself.

Soobin looks at him, clearly surprised, and laughs. "Sure, sure. I wouldn't mind, to be honest. Imagine dating the Choi Yeonjun." Did he just... flirt back? Holy shit, his crush just flirted back...

"Should I start courting you tonight, then?" Yeonjun says jokingly. Half-jokingly. _Please fucking shut your mouth up_.

"Do you have a crush on me?" Soobin asks straight-forwardly. "Just kidding. You look really red right now." He is flustered. The question was too sudden.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" Yeonjun saw it from the internet that it's a more poetic way of saying I love you to someone and that the best response would be 'I can die happily.' Google also said that it's another way of confessing to someone.

"Yeah. I can live happily." He must be hearing things. If he's not mistaken, he just confessed back. HOLY SHIT! 

Silence envelops them. It's rather comfortable than awkward. The only noise they're hearing comes from the court, the prom is still on going yet here they are, enjoying each other's presence. The atmosphere is quiet and relaxing. And then the song shifted into a music for slow dancing. Yeonjun remembered listening to this song before when his close friend recommended it to him. He even searched the meaning and English translation, and it was really beautiful. _Ethereal love, I'll choose you everyday._

"You know, one of my dreams was to slow dance with a boy on the rooftop while the moon is shining brightly." Soobin looks at him. Yeonjun sees the happiness in his eyes. It's his time to shine and make a move.

"Then, why haven't you done it yet?" Yeonjun asks. _Please tell me that you want to dance with me._ "If you don't mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I wanted it to be you." He tells him. Yeonjun is sure that Soobin likes him back.

That night, the moon and sun has once again crossed paths. Another eclipse happened. The sun will always fall for the moon just like how the moon will always fall for the sun. They promised to love and live on a lifetime where they will grow old together, watching the sun descend for the moon; and at last, maybe this is the lifetime they promised for each other. The sun and moon has suffered enough; it's time for them to finally be happy together.

"Would you like to dance with me?" He offers his hand. 

"I would love to." Soobin smiles and accepts Yeonjun's hand. He would always accept him in his life, whether it's in the past, present, or future.

Cue, the chorus plays.  
 _  
_

 _Mahiwaga,_ _Pipiliin ka sa araw-araw_

 _(Ethereal love,_ _I will choose you everyday)  
  
_

_Mahiwaga, Ang nadarama sayo'y malinaw_

_(Ethereal love, What I feel for you is certainty)_

It is a romantic night indeed. Dancing under the glowing sky. Millions of stars witnessed the new start of their relationship and this time it won't hurt. They will finally grow old together with ten corgis while living in a big house. Soobin promised before, didn't he? A person may break a promise at that time, but that does not mean they will not fulfill it in a different lifetime. 

People said the sun loved the moon so much, that it died every night so it could breathe; But in their story, the moon loved the sun just as much that he died entirely so he could shine without anyone borrowing his bright light anymore.

* * *

And that's the story of how the sun had to wait for decades just to reunite with the moon once again.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at my twt @rlavugyu
> 
> playlist for this fic: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3M19UH3A9ym8dZAoPDqQsG?si=30vfHOp-SO2cSlQZ01N_Ig


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